'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his torch off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the television out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard
'Jesus is watching you.'
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his torch beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he grunted at the parrot. 'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of person would name their parrot Moses?'
Spoiler
The kind of person that would name their Rottweiler Jesus.
