Hiding in plain sight

[thecaretaker]

Exactly how I felt when I was working and it was a big part that made me set up this website. The strange thing is, the bigger the school and the more staff there are (in the biggest of towns) the more lonely this job can be. Being in a secondary school also makes you feel isolated and invisible. I used to envy some of the caretakers that said they were happy, felt appreciated and worked in a 2 classroom primary somewhere out in the sticks.

It used to get me too at [the C word] when teachers had shed loads of gifts showered upon them and you got nothing. But was made all the worse by being asked to push a trolley or sack barrow from their classroom to their car as there was too much for them to carry. You'd load up their car without as much as a thank you.

When having to make big decisions at work, most people in other workplaces have collogues they can discuss the best way to tackle things. As a caretaker, you often don't have anybody to discuss it with. Every decision has to be made on your own and that can be stressful at times.

That's what the forum is for and why I set it up. So you can share ideas which help you make those correct decisions, make friends and hopefully you won't feel so isolated. It's only something that caretakers will understand.

That's why it is important that the forum is a friendly welcoming place for all. It's good to get it off your chest from time to time.

[Keyolder]

I know exactly where you are coming from and can relate to all you have mentioned. It can be a very lonely job sometimes especially in a one-man school, maybe because we are solution providers we are seen as not needing any help or encouragement and left alone as we always deliver.

I agree the exclusion is hurtful but probably not intentional, I’ve never fitted in with cliques of people as I mostly have different interests. I’ve been invited to staff after school parties, but the talk all seems geared to work, and as my work is vastly different than theirs its not relatable. I do on occasion take the opportunity to mention in graphic detail the massive king Richard that wouldn’t flush, and the procedure of removing it while staff are eating their sausage rolls.

At the end of the summer term, I would hear about the exotic locations staff are visiting and the six weeks of bliss they are all looking forward to. I would often be asked to help staff carry their gifts to the car when my gift was a comprehensive summer job list.

I’ve often thought of writing a book of my exploits as a school caretaker titled, “The loneliness of the dedicated school caretaker”.
Take care twiglets, your efforts are appreciated even if they are not mentioned

[PalaceEagles]

I just want to thank you Twiglet for such a heartfelt and personal post. I like the others have said can relate too. I've often thought that this job is one of the most rewarding jobs I have ever done and also the loneliest job I have ever done. Your part of a big team but actually your not most of the time. I'm quite fortunate now that I have an assistant that comes in and works in the afternoons but my previous schools it was just me. What struck me first when I started working in schools is the change is noise. You can go from lots of noise one day to complete silence the next and that sometimes can last for 4 to 5 weeks then all of a sudden BAM noise again. It took some getting used to.

I was talking to our contractor who is onsite at the moment a few week about the previous caretaker who I never met and the contractor said 'blimey he used to talk a lot, we used to have to walk away'. It then struck me that it was probably to do with the fact we can go days without seeing anyone at work so when someone does come along you just talk and talk. I realise I do that now and find I'm just wittering.

[narrowboat]

Twigletts. Thank you for Sharing your thoughts. I Hope, hearing That others here feel similar to you is a help. It is a help to me knowing That i'm not alone in feeling isolated. So Thank you for That. All the best to you. D

[Elephantpaul63]

My god you must have been behind me twiglets, you have summed up everything that I and all the rest of us have felt or feel at some stage in this job. My wife works in the same school as me she's a INA ( Individual needs assistant ) and sorry to say she even doesn't understand that this can be the loneliest job in the school, if your a TA/Teacher they can chat to each other and discuses as they have a understanding of each others jobs, but who has a understanding of our job in a school ?.99% of the time we all just go about our day and get on with things and don't ask for help so know one sort of notices that that's been put up/or been repaired. I spent the last week getting ready for a HSE Audit computer records/risk assessments/hard paper copy's still doing the daily checks and jobs, and just to be told by a teacher that you do it all the time so your used to it. I do get asked to come to the end of year drink but have to remind them that I still have cleaners in and have to lock up the school. I think that this job will always be a thankless job when it comes to being thanked and yes you hit the nail on the head ( no pun intended ) it should always be put into the job description when advertised Invisible Site Manager Required, take care

[MrMatt]

Twiglett you have hit the nail on the head for as it seem all those in this line of work. Know that you are not alone in the job, you are appreciated, you have a place to talk and be listened too, that place is here with us your brothers and sisters on this forum. This forum is always my first port of call in the day and although I don't always post, I love to see whats going on the world of the site teams.

If you need help mate, don't be afraid to ask for it, contact your occupational health team or contact your GP who will put you in touch with the mental health team. I've been there, as have many others on here, there is always a positive way out of the darkness.

These days I don't really mix at all with the teaching staff etc which I feel makes it easier for me to kick them out at the end of the day when it's my time to go home.

Stay safe and well Twiglett and keep in touch with us all.

[magpie]

Twiglets it is really good that you have spoken out and after the replies you can see that you are not alone in how you feel.
Now in my opinion you maybe should talk to your HT and just let them know how you feel, they may not realise how much it is affecting you and certainly use whatever Occupational health people that you have access to. Depression and stress silently creep on you so be aware that that can happen so maybe try to see your GP or someone at the surgery to talk it all through.

Wishing you all the best and everyone on this site is always here for you to help you unburden whenever you need it

[Maverick]

I absolutely get where you are coming from. Whilst there are positives to take from the job I do now there are also negatives. The lack of a sense of belonging is one of them. Sure, all those member of staff organised events that you are forgotten about and the group shot of the COVID team that doesn't include you even if you were the only one in throughout in my case. But it is something I have come to accept.

I did get an uplift sometime ago when we all had to leave a compliment for someone else during random acts of kindness. Mine read "*** our super hero! Thank you for everything you do for the school, the children and the staff. There are lots of times when we need something doing for us which we find tricky and then someone (you) comes to the rescue."

I laminated and pinned it up to look at whenever I felt like you do.

Sadly that was the last random acts of kindness day as this year many couldn't be bothered. Says it all really.

[twiglets]

Thank you for all your thoughtful comments. I rarely open up and write what I feel and hope somehow "it's good to talk" even if it's the written word. I hope I haven't gone overboard with what I wrote, I never thought about it before, I just let my thoughts come and and wrote them down. Yes, many do appreciate what we do, but, although uplifting reading all the comments, it's clear that I am not on my own with these thoughts. I took myself outside for the morning and enjoyed the sun- strange but we can do this during the day whilst others can't.
I hope after reading all the comments, like others, this website is "my team" and as others have said, it's nice to be able to express a feeling without being judged.
My cup can be half full one day, half empty another and spilling out the next and so on. thank you all, I'm in a better place this afternoon and hope all of you are able to see the light at the end of the tunnel (sometimes an express train- sometimes the glorious sunny fields full of happiness). Take care all, and don't be worried to express yourselves from time to time it can help.

[Taz]

Hard to understand that sometimes despite being surrounded by people, for the vast majority of your day you're on your own doing your own thing. It can be a very lonely job despite being surrounded by so many.

My last school I ended up feeling similar, in the respect that I was just expected to do something, although it wasn't actually anything to do with me really. I started to get "lazy" as somebody (who I now know and thought it was) once said about me to another member of staff. Reason being? We'd not long had my son and I wasn't prepared to give every single last second of my life to the school, which included waiting for them after I had "clocked off" whilst they just finished up. At that point I knew (as they did) that I was looking elsewhere as we were moving anyway. Lazy I am not. Last laugh is on them, because my replacement has now had to be replaced as they "never got the job/school like I did".

I'm much happier where I am now, and there is a better network of support in place here. There are regular opportunities to sign up for staff get together, people regularly check in with you, and are actually genuinely interested.

Don't keep it bottled up, talk to somebody, even this post is a great start.

You're not on your own, and just remember that if you need a rant, we'll listen!